Distiiled Wisdom

[Clym Angus]

Better to be bested in whit, by a sharp. Than in cunning by a fool.

Incompetence hides design better than design hides incompetance.

The condemned man has the by far the widest latitude of action. By virtue of the limitations of worldly justice and punishment.

Shared vices fuel the excuses that inevitably lead to over indulgence.

[Tanuki]

Like people, animals will become frightened and likely do whatever you say if you whip them enough.

In love, as in life, one misheard word can be tremendously important. If you tell someone you love them, for instance, you must be absolutely certain that they have replied "I love you back" and not "I love your back" before you continue the conversation.

Do you really think it is weakness that yields to temptation? I tell you that there are terrible temptations which it requires strength, strength and courage to yield to.

Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil.

And always remember the last words of my grandfather, who said: "A truck!"

[Marrock]

I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, who said, "I drank what?"

[Hikaro Takayama]

I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, who said, "I drank what?"

That's just wrong!

I have one I found on another forum:

"Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it's done, they've seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves."

[Marrock]

That's just wrong!

Don't blame me, blame Val Kilmer since he said it in 'Real Genius'.

[JingleJoe]

Big Fella, He done gone Buggerup.

Australian Aborigine Pidgin for a natural disaster. Allegedly.

Herr Döktor, may I intervene here with something similar or perhaps a variation on what you were getting at

Here is the crisp and unimprovable description of an eclipse of the sun, as related by an unnamed Australian aboriginal astronomer in 2002.
"Kerosene lamp belong Jesus gone bugger-up."
Good night.

[Commander Obadiah]

Escalators never break, they just turn into stairs. This is the most important philosophy to remember when selling anything.

Commander C. Obadiah

[The Kernel]

Elevators never break, they just turn into stairs. This is the most important philosophy to remember when selling anything.

Commander C. Obadiah

I hope I don't sound pernickety but should that be "elevators" - lifts to us in the UK, or "escalators" - as in moving staircase?

[Commander Obadiah]

Escalators, easy to confuse with elevators to a mildly-inebriated mind.

Commander C. Obaduag

[JennyWren]

sarcasm is the lowest form of humour, but the hardest to master

[Ambie]

"Tapping the emergency lighting power wires fer yer apparatus, no matter how justified it might seem, upsets the Fire Marshals something awful." 

Ambie     

[Derranged-Gadgeteer]

So many people talk about the origin of all evil.  Some say it's greed, lust, rage, envy, and many others.  But the truth is, boredom is the root of all evil.  I mean, if these people had something productive they could enjoy doing, they wouldn't go through all the trouble of being evil!!

[JennyWren]

Aways turn left at Albuquerque

[Dr cornelius quack]

In fact, always turn left at any town that's got two "Q"s and three "U"s in it.

[Marrock]

"Always be polite to a dragon. It's harder than it sounds. Dragon etiquette is incredibly complicated, and if you make a mistake, the dragon eats you." --Patricia C. Wrede

[von Corax]

There's nothing wrong with talking to yourself. There's not even anything wrong with arguing with yourself. When you come to blows, however, that's a different matter...

[Marrock]

I stopped talking to myself when I realized that, half the time, I knew what I was going to say next.

[Jennette Haber]

when writing, i tend to speak my characters dialogue, which is one of the reasons i stopped writing in public. speaking both sides of a conversation, in different voices, which has nothing to do with the current surroundings, and often repeating variations of the same sentence, tends to get you some odd looks

[Magister]

"There are three rules for writing a novel.  Unfortunately, no one knows what they are."
      -- Somerset Maugham

[Sir A Poiselamppe]

Learn the Words........
                      Lord Havelock Vetinari `

[Marrock]

"When in doubt, get the hell out" --Jason Hawes

[Baron von Landau]

"Do as thou will shall be the whole of the law."
- Aleister Crowley

"Do as the law shall be the whole of your will."
- Stalin (something like that)

"Which of them would you rather have rule the world?"
- Me to a friend during a political argument of which I will not go into detail...

[Dr cornelius quack]

Neither of them.

Bloody aphorists!!

[Baron von Landau]

Fair enough... it seems that Mr. Crowley would have us live in a world a bit more erm... interesting than it ought to be. 

[Zwack]

"Love, and do what you will" - St Augustine of Hippo (354-430 AD)

Z.