Fancy word game

[GCCC]

I suffer most egregiously from a spinal injury, and now I find myself alarmed by a false sense of euphoria, the causation of which I believe to be the nostrum given me for the purpose of alleviating my misery.

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Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac...It's in the hole! It's in the hole! It's in the hole!

[Hez]

A true-life Horatio Alger story to inspire the youth of our nation.  The edifying tale of a simple working man who through hard work, perseverance and clean living has risen to dizzying heights and is now aspiring to... By George I think he's got it!  Yes, success is his!  Well played sir, Oh, well played!

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T.G.I.F.

[Cubinoid]

Praise the inventor of the days of the week, for by Jove, the weekend beckons!

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(and with thanks to Maets for making me chuckle...)

When she gets there she knows, if the stores are all closed, with a word she can get what she came for.

[walking stick]

At the point in time which she arrives at the appointed place, if there is no emporium open for business then one single utterance will obtain for her exactly what she made her journey to acquire.
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Chocolate is a vegetable.

[GCCC]

It has been espoused that any food derived from Theobroma cacao seeds are no different nutritionally from those prepared from any variety of tubers, roots, or beans.

(Bonus:)
My matriarch frequently advised me that our brief existence upon this plane can often be compared to a parcel of flora cultivated as a food source.

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My boyfriend's back, and you're going to be in trouble.

[Colonel Hawthorne]

Truly, you will rue this day which sees the return of my male companion.

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The corn is as high as an elephant's eye.

[Maets]

The maize has reached a pachyderm's ocular portal.

Donald Trump for President.

[Colonel Hawthorne]

Verily, let us elect a trumpeter to rule over us all.

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Now you're just being silly.

[GCCC]

An orange toupée for President? Sir, surely you jest!
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Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me. Aren't you?

[Colonel Hawthorne]

Great Scott, madam!  Ankles?  May I enquire: are your intentions honourable?

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O brave new world, that has such people in it!

[Hez]

Brass Goggles is the name, do check it out.  The members are of excellent quality and truly hospitable.

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Leftovers for dinner again?

[Clym Angus]

I see a reminiscence of sustenance and meals past residing upon my plate. Though delicious, I am quite sure. I feel it would be apposite to discuss the household food allowance.

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Get your T*ts out for the lads!

[GCCC]

Madam, I hate to impose, but this is an anatomists' class, after all. Might I request that you remove your garments so that we may examine the two prominences found on the upper ventral region of your torso which overlay the pectoralis major muscles and contain the apocrine glands? Purely for educational purposes, you understand.

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Thunder only happens when it's raining.

[Caledonian]

The acoustic effect of lightning occurs in cumulonimbuses in the lower layers of the troposphere and is therefore likely to be accompanied by showers.
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In the ancient woods of Caledon, I saved king bruces royal throne

[Will Howard]

I got Brucie-Pooh's chair out of the Scottish woods.

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Now that Scotland's been mentioned, NOTHING is worn under the kilt- it's ALL in tip-top shape!

[walking stick]

As the subject of Scotland has been raised so has the subject of the plaid and what is worn beneath it. Of course any highlander will explain EVERYTHING is kept in perfect working order.
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I'm so ill that I look like my passport photograph.

[walking stick]

But whilst you are looking up the subject.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBgcnLDiOLo

[Will Howard]

As the subject of Scotland has been raised so has the subject of the plaid and what is worn beneath it. Of course any highlander will explain EVERYTHING is kept in perfect working order.
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I'm so ill that I look like my passport photograph.

This malaise causes me to resemble the portrait on my International Travel Permit.

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When in Rome, do as the Romans.

[Colonel Hawthorne]

It behoves one to act similarly to the residents of the Italian capital, should one be visiting that city.

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I like to play the cello.

[Will Howard]

I receive great enjoyment while performing on the stringed musical instrument whose name rhymes with "jell-o".

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I like movies with Bing Crosby & Fred Astaire in them.

[GCCC]

I am particularly fond of the cinematographic offerings Azure Atmospheres and Lodgings at Whitby.*

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Strangers only love you when they're playing.





*

Spoiler: ShowHide

Mssrs. Astaire and Crosby only co-starred in two films, Blue Skies and Holiday Inn, both of which were very successful.

[Colonel Hawthorne]

You may only gain the admiration of persons unacquainted with you while said persons are engaged in frivolous pursuits.

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South of the river you stop and you hold everything.

[GCCC]

If one traverses a route across the freshwater, naturally flowing watercourse via the cardinal direction found by setting an azimuth of 180 degrees, one should come to an absolute halt whilst keeping personal possessions close.

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When the rain washes you free, you'll know.

[Caledonian]

You will be aware in case aerial water deliberates you.

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The unforseen is a friend of mine

[GCCC]

I share an amicable relationship with events which cannot be predicted.

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Listen to them, the children of the night. What music they make!