Things that make you go WTF? MkII

[Caledonian]

But you are Dutch, aren't you?

yes I am.

but that doesn't mean I can talk 3 pages about a glass bottle being a glass bottle and why it is a glass bottle.

[Sir Nikolas of Vendigroth]

It's an interesting exercise, I just don't see the point...

You could say the object is constructed of amorphous silica, formed from heat fused sand, has an involuted shape, with an opening at one extremity which is plugged with a cylinder of the cambum tissue of Quercus suber, and give measurements of the dimensions and stuff...

[Caledonian]

It's an interesting exercise, I just don't see the point...

You could say the object is constructed of amorphous silica, formed from heat fused sand, has an involuted shape, with an opening at one extremity which is plugged with a cylinder of the cambum tissue of Quercus suber, and give measurements of the dimensions and stuff...

it's actually practice for when we need to describe an object of which we don't know what it is.

[walking stick]

Imagine you were an archaeologist from so far in the future that there is no need for these things so you wouldn't recognize them. 

What size is it?  What does it weigh?  What are it's dimensions?  What is the material involved?  Can you see how it was made?

Hope this helps.

[von Corax]

The surface of the object is hard, dry, glossy-smooth and cool to the touch. The material is rigid and transparent and produces a high, sharp "clink" when lightly rapped with another hard object, while rubbing it with a finger produces a squeaking sound.

These observations can also help eliminate certain materials from consideration.

My point is that you can "experience" a bottle using more senses than just vision.

[J. Wilhelm]

It's a -3 dimensional object with an orientable circular truncated conical surface of genus zero, shaped in such a way so as to contain a fluid,  and in a way in which said fluid can only enter or exit containment within a prescribed circular surface area delimited by the narrowest end of the truncated cylinder.  The 3 dimensional object is made from a rigid, brittle and translucent material.

A second object, being a solid 3 dimensional circular cylinder of genus zero, and made from an elastic opaque material, can be placed on the first object so as to prevent the fluid from entering or exiting containment.

[MWBailey]

A second object, being a solid 3 dimensional circular cylinder of genus zero, and made from an elastic opaque material, can be placed on the first object so as to prevent the fluid from entering or exiting containment.

*Teacher hat on*
Having had to complete such assignments and also give them, I have to take issue here; that part of the description assumes that the function of the cylindrical object is already known.

It might be better to go to the trouble of actually stating that the cylindrical object just happens to fit into the opening in the hard, translucent object, and to speculate that it could perhaps hold liquid contents within the object if the cylindrical object were inserted into the opening.

I realize that sounds stupendously idiotic, but remember that you're describing the bottle without calling it a bottle, and thus your instructor probably wants you to carry the description of the cork (conceivably a detached part of the bottle as a whole) to the same extreme.

To the others: Miss Caledonian might be Dutch, but we English speakers have to teach our English-speaking students how to write and think properly in English, even though they grew up speaking the "common speech," so to speak. It stands to reason that the same is true in any other language.

*Teacher hat off*

Sorry if I sounded condescending or insulting. It was not intentional.

[Caledonian]

Imagine you were an archaeologist from so far in the future that there is no need for these things so you wouldn't recognize them. 

What size is it?  What does it weigh?  What are it's dimensions?  What is the material involved?  Can you see how it was made?

Hope this helps.

That certainly makes it more fun

And not quoting the rest if you,  but thank you. I handed in the paper, i hope the best

[J. Wilhelm]

A second object, being a solid 3 dimensional circular cylinder of genus zero, and made from an elastic opaque material, can be placed on the first object so as to prevent the fluid from entering or exiting containment.

*Teacher hat on*
*snip*
*Teacher hat off*

Sorry if I sounded condescending or insulting. It was not intentional.

My inner nerd is deeply offended. You have slapped me and thrown down the Nintendo Power Glove^TM to the ground. 

[Alexis Voltaire]

[LukeHogbin]

Yahoo! Questions is like an amateur version of 4chan's /b/ ...

[Captain Quinlin Hopkins]

Oh how I have missed this topic and its associated humour.
On a bit of a sour note however;  
I have spent almost every waking moment of the past year attempting to bring a companies moral compass to a better direction. I have compressed time by accomplishing on one year what, by ordinary means, could not be accomplished in five. And in the end, I'm being cut due to funding issues, instead of the group that failed to deliver the orders to keep everything in the black. Weekly I would have to listen to the call where sales would spout numbers from an orifice I will not mention, while the books still read zero. Only some carryover business from the previous year keeping us moving at all.  That alone is enough.
Some days I just have to say wtf.
On the upside it's good to have a bit of spare time to catch up on some projects I see here and follow to their conclusion. I forget how much I miss you lads and ladies.

[von Corax]

Sounds like a good company to not work for.

[Sir Henry]

Sounds like a good company to not work for.

Indeed. I have successfully made it my life's mission.

Welcome back, Capt. Hopkins!

[heavyporker]

Captain Hopkins, that sounds horrifying.

[Drew P]

Unfortunately, that seems to be how most businesses function, poorly. Not striving to be better.
I'm looking for a place that believes in quality and professionalism and in listening to their employees.

Nice dream, huh?

[LukeHogbin]

Oh how I have missed this topic and its associated humour.
On a bit of a sour note however;  
I have spent almost every waking moment of the past year attempting to bring a companies moral compass to a better direction. I have compressed time by accomplishing on one year what, by ordinary means, could not be accomplished in five. And in the end, I'm being cut due to funding issues, instead of the group that failed to deliver the orders to keep everything in the black. Weekly I would have to listen to the call where sales would spout numbers from an orifice I will not mention, while the books still read zero. Only some carryover business from the previous year keeping us moving at all.  That alone is enough.
Some days I just have to say wtf.
On the upside it's good to have a bit of spare time to catch up on some projects I see here and follow to their conclusion. I forget how much I miss you lads and ladies.

First rule of any job: Don't do anything more than you're being paid for.

A friend of mine spent countless months of his free time developing a database program that would make managing the books of the company he worked for easier, as they were all kept disorganised and in some cases in notebooks that were 10+ years old; he spent additional several months entering the data. When he presented his solution, which was efficient, easy to use, and above all, in accordance with the [bleep]ing regulations, he was threatened with disciplinary actions and told if he ever does anything like that again, he will be fired.

[J. Wilhelm]

Oh how I have missed this topic and its associated humour.
On a bit of a sour note however;  
I have spent almost every waking moment of the past year attempting to bring a companies moral compass to a better direction. I have compressed time by accomplishing on one year what, by ordinary means, could not be accomplished in five. And in the end, I'm being cut due to funding issues, instead of the group that failed to deliver the orders to keep everything in the black. Weekly I would have to listen to the call where sales would spout numbers from an orifice I will not mention, while the books still read zero. Only some carryover business from the previous year keeping us moving at all.  That alone is enough.
Some days I just have to say wtf.
On the upside it's good to have a bit of spare time to catch up on some projects I see here and follow to their conclusion. I forget how much I miss you lads and ladies.

Welcome back! But sorry to hear about your situation. A moral compass is not something that American corporate culture appreciates any more,because there's no "Wall Street" in it.  To the contrary, there is no problem selling out the company,  your workers and your country,  if it means a bigger bonus out of the vault of the sinking Titanic *cough*GE*cough*Haliburton*cough*cough*

[rovingjack]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWzYH9tR-eI

1) Gynoid, not android Gynoid... unless there are some very naughty anime features under the dress.

2) Why the hell does anybody want an artificial teenager, the real ones are enough of a handful.

3) who is going to be buying a fifteen year old girl model... never mind I don't want to know. Just tell me this is for the new season of to catch a predator.

We live in a world where we are building robots... and this is the robot we build. WTF?

[Alexis Voltaire]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWzYH9tR-eI

1) Gynoid, not android Gynoid... unless there are some very naughty anime features under the dress.

2) Why the hell does anybody want an artificial teenager, the real ones are enough of a handful.

3) who is going to be buying a fifteen year old girl model... never mind I don't want to know. Just tell me this is for the new season of to catch a predator.

We live in a world where we are building robots... and this is the robot we build. WTF?

Mmmmm.... I'm curious as to whether I'd agree with you, but I'm afraid to look at what's behind that link. Some of that stuff puts you on weird advertisement lists that don't go away.

[Crescat Scientia]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWzYH9tR-eI

1) Gynoid, not android Gynoid... unless there are some very naughty anime features under the dress.

2) Why the hell does anybody want an artificial teenager, the real ones are enough of a handful.

3) who is going to be buying a fifteen year old girl model... never mind I don't want to know. Just tell me this is for the new season of to catch a predator.

We live in a world where we are building robots... and this is the robot we build. WTF?

Mmmmm.... I'm curious as to whether I'd agree with you, but I'm afraid to look at what's behind that link. Some of that stuff puts you on weird advertisement lists that don't go away.

I didn't click on it either, if that's any comfort.

I assume the linked video is to something Japanese given the popularity of the term "gynoid" (coined by SF Author Gwyneth Jones in 1985) in Japan (I first became aware of it from the softcore airbrush artist Hajime Sorayama and his stainless steel pinup fetish).

I gather that, culturally, many of these fantasies *do* have, er, underdress parts.  They seem to be a technological update of the old pneumatically inflated human female substitute.

Here is a perfectly respectable article from "Esquire" talking about the phenomenon in general.  It should not give any more than the normal ads one gets from reading news articles (although its graphics are complex enough to make my ipad stutter):

http://www.esquire.com/entertainment/a35060/female-robots-gynoid-sexism/

[Sir Henry]

I've just been sent a link to a book about airships called Great Airships The Tragedy: http://www.amazon.com/Great-Airships-Tragedy-Mike-Flynn/dp/1858687179. I had never heard of it before.


Why the WTF?

Spoiler: ShowHide

Because I'm credited as co-author.

[Crescat Scientia]

I've just been sent a link to a book about airships called Great Airships The Tragedy: http://www.amazon.com/Great-Airships-Tragedy-Mike-Flynn/dp/1858687179. I had never heard of it before.


Why the WTF?

Spoiler: ShowHide

Because I'm credited as co-author.

Your name does not appear on the cover itself.

This may simply be a matter of Amazon's crummy QC as regards book info.

[Sir Henry]

I've just been sent a link to a book about airships called Great Airships The Tragedy: http://www.amazon.com/Great-Airships-Tragedy-Mike-Flynn/dp/1858687179. I had never heard of it before.


Why the WTF?

Spoiler: ShowHide

Because I'm credited as co-author.

Your name does not appear on the cover itself.

This may simply be a matter of Amazon's crummy QC as regards book info.

It's the same on Abebooks, Waterstones and all other booksellers. It looks to have happened fairly early on in the book's life. It may well have been a publicity department's mistake as they published two books of mine not long before. Still, something else to add to the CV. 

[Drew P]

And seek out back royalties.