Things that make you go WTF? MkII

[Siliconous Skumins]

Going to have to watch that episode of Mythbusters because I'm pretty sure that one of them got a shock doing that to a rigged up electric fence.

Well I can't speak for Mythbusters (though I did see that episode), and while I think that myth was about "peeing on an electric fence" rather than a live rail, I can can confirm the myth of peeing on a live rail resulting in a very bad day, as being confirmed.

First off is several coroner's reports of homeless people found dead in the subway tunnels of New York City, all of which attribute the cause of death as "urination upon the live third rail" which was substantiated by the presence of "charred flesh around the groin and the complete vaporization of the penis / genital area".... 


Also I was present at an event involving a large dog with a full bladder, and an unfortunately electrically faulty illuminated street bollard at a road crossing which had been run over by a car / van / bus / whatever. The dog was uninjured, but it will be many years before Fido pees on any more street furniture!   

However me and the council guy (who was there to make it safe) who both witnessed the event were on our knees laughing so hard that we were fighting for breath! Much to the annoyance of the little old lady who owned the dog... 

[Crescat Scientia]

Don't worry americans, we have this guy:


oh wait.
wait a moment.
that's a reason to worry.
very hard.

I have no idea who that is, but he does look as though he's an orchestral conductor who has borrowed Dragonforce's wind machine. 

that's Geert Wilders, politician. anti immigrants and anti europe.
we call him the dutch Trump.

He reminds me of the aliens from "This Island Earth":
https://exclamationmark.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/tie2.jpg

OH MY COGS I CAN NEVER UNSEE THAT

My work here is done. 

[Athanor]

Being in the pub and the conversation descends into a serious proposal to start a Gumby party and stand for political office as Gumby.

Donald Trump not  crazy enough for you?

What, you mean he's actually serious? 

I though he was doing as a massive joke at the expense of the American electorate. I mean who in their right mind would elect him?

Then again, It's been my firm belief for years that Donald Trump's entire existence was started by the Americans so as to play a joke on the rest of the world in retribution for our stereotyping of them (by creating the most boorish, jinoistic, rich idiot there could possibly be as a deliberate figure of mockery, yet who doesn't actually exist).

Sorry, but I just can't resist this. Back in the 1950s, "trump" was English schoolboy slang for ... how to express this without invoking the ire of the Admins .... flatulence.

Athanor.

[Sir Henry]

Being in the pub and the conversation descends into a serious proposal to start a Gumby party and stand for political office as Gumby.

Donald Trump not  crazy enough for you?

What, you mean he's actually serious? 

I though he was doing as a massive joke at the expense of the American electorate. I mean who in their right mind would elect him?

Then again, It's been my firm belief for years that Donald Trump's entire existence was started by the Americans so as to play a joke on the rest of the world in retribution for our stereotyping of them (by creating the most boorish, jinoistic, rich idiot there could possibly be as a deliberate figure of mockery, yet who doesn't actually exist).

Sorry, but I just can't resist this. Back in the 1950s, "trump" was English schoolboy slang for ... how to express this without invoking the ire of the Admins .... flatulence.

Athanor.

[MWBailey]

Being in the pub and the conversation descends into a serious proposal to start a Gumby party and stand for political office as Gumby.

Donald Trump not  crazy enough for you?

What, you mean he's actually serious?  

I though he was doing as a massive joke at the expense of the American electorate. I mean who in their right mind would elect him?

Then again, It's been my firm belief for years that Donald Trump's entire existence was started by the Americans so as to play a joke on the rest of the world in retribution for our stereotyping of them (by creating the most boorish, jinoistic, rich idiot there could possibly be as a deliberate figure of mockery, yet who doesn't actually exist).

Sorry, but I just can't resist this. Back in the 1950s, "trump" was English schoolboy slang for ... how to express this without invoking the ire of the Admins .... flatulence.

Athanor.

Ok, everybody, Lets Give It Up For:

(image removed by MWBailey due to political content. It sure was funny, though... )

[Siliconous Skumins]

Car insurance renewal time. Two things have made me go WTF today:

First, my insurance renewal forms have still not yet been sent out even though It's due to expire on the 18th of this month. So last night I did the usual internet comparison website searches and got some quotes, all of which were disappointingly higher than last year. My best was for £278.68

I call my insurance company this morning to find out where my renewal forms are. Not sent out, and they have been getting later each year - and it just so happens they will automatically renew the insurance and take payment from your bank / card details..  So I asked for my renewal quote, which was £278.68   Wait.....what? The exact same price as quoted by a competitor online, and this is the SECOND time this has happened when I have searched prices just before contacting my insurance company!

Secret insurance database of all recent quotes online from all and accessable by all companies - CONFIRMED!!   And they are using that info to discriminate against you!   WTF! Is that even legal?


The Second thing was what happened when I played about with the details I supplied, trying to work out just WHY my insurance has been increasing steeply for the last three years (three years ago I paid only £180 with the same insurance firm!). I found that the value of the car made little difference (less than £10 actually), the area made some difference, but only if you chose an absolute shit-hole of a place as your home address (otherwise less than £5), and annual millage also made little difference unless excessive. And then I changed my employment type...  BINGO!  I was listed as "self employed, Landlord, property lettings", changing these details made a BIG difference! As a "worst case" I chose "unemployed" for job type - this is typically a MUCH higher risk and therefore more expensive. NOPE - in my case it DROPPED the price of my quote by £40! 

So being a property landlord is WORSE as an insurance risk than unemployed??  WTF!? 


Luckily for me, I can actually claim to be "unemployed" as I have no registered business or company, nor is it actually (legally) classed as "self employed" as it is not run as a business (classed as "Other Income not from employment" by the Tax man!). They would have a hard time trying to prove otherwise, so could not cancel or nullify my insurance due to my job status!

Looks like I'm now 'Unemployed', and better off for it! 

[Fairley B. Strange]

Being in the pub and the conversation descends into a serious proposal to start a Gumby party and stand for political office as Gumby.

Donald Trump not  crazy enough for you?

What, you mean he's actually serious? 

I though he was doing as a massive joke at the expense of the American electorate. I mean who in their right mind would elect him?

Then again, It's been my firm belief for years that Donald Trump's entire existence was started by the Americans so as to play a joke on the rest of the world in retribution for our stereotyping of them (by creating the most boorish, jinoistic, rich idiot there could possibly be as a deliberate figure of mockery, yet who doesn't actually exist).

Sorry, but I just can't resist this. Back in the 1950s, "trump" was English schoolboy slang for ... how to express this without invoking the ire of the Admins .... flatulence.

Athanor.

[The Mods usually take a dim view of political commentary on BG, but this is more like Applied Etymology]

Given that the English flatulatory reference is the abbreviated variant of "trumpet" (only encountered nowadays as the KJV Biblical usage), it might explain his popularity with the Christian-Right of the party.
I can't imagine him starting starting a political dynasty like the Bush or Kennedy clans, so their vote might be waiting for "when the Last Trump sounds"...     

[J. Wilhelm]

Don't worry americans, we have this guy:


oh wait.
wait a moment.
that's a reason to worry.
very hard.

That's Max Shreck (Christopher Walken) from Batman Returns! (1992)  Do you have the Penguin too?

http://batman.wikia.com/wiki/Max_Shreck

[von Corax]

Don't worry americans, we have this guy:


oh wait.
wait a moment.
that's a reason to worry.
very hard.

I have no idea who that is, but he does look as though he's an orchestral conductor who has borrowed Dragonforce's wind machine. 

that's Geert Wilders, politician. anti immigrants and anti europe.
we call him the dutch Trump.

He reminds me of the aliens from "This Island Earth":
https://exclamationmark.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/tie2.jpg

That made me laugh so hard I almost knocked over my Interociter!

[von Corax]

So being a property landlord is WORSE as an insurance risk than unemployed??  WTF!? 

Unemployed layabouts generally don't get their cars keyed by irate tenants. That, and they can't generally afford the gas to get into a collision.

Sorry, but I just can't resist this. Back in the 1950s, "trump" was English schoolboy slang for ... how to express this without invoking the ire of the Admins .... flatulence.

I think we can let that one pass.

[Siliconous Skumins]

It seems that I have somehow pissed off my resident poltergeist, my house has been very active since 3am. light bulbs (filament type) are blowing, lights are being switched on and off, objects are moving or disappearing and found elsewhere or returning later, and lots of scraping / dragging / bumping sounds...

Went out for a hour this afternoon, arrived back to find all the cushions on my sofa had all been pushed up and into one corner. Not the cat, he was outside so can't be blamed.  And through the night it sounded like a large dog was trying to run / claws dragging on the bare floorboards in my upstairs hallway. Almost sounded like a wild animal being dragged, or having a fit or something! Again not the cat, the sound scared him and he jumped onto my bed while the sound continued. After a few minutes he ran off down the stairs to hide (he has not been back upstairs since).

Happens every year around this time, not usually this bad though. Doesn't really bother me, I'm used to it and just ignore it, but it does make you go WTF?! 

(and no, I'm not joking or 'the only one to see it'...)

[von Corax]

It seems that I have somehow pissed off my resident poltergeist, my house has been very active since 3am. light bulbs (filament type) are blowing, lights are being switched on and off, objects are moving or disappearing and found elsewhere or returning later, and lots of scraping / dragging / bumping sounds...
[...]
Happens every year around this time, not usually this bad though. Doesn't really bother me, I'm used to it and just ignore it, but it does make you go WTF?! 

(and no, I'm not joking or 'the only one to see it'...)

Sounds like you've got some history to research.

[MWBailey]

It seems that I have somehow pissed off my resident poltergeist, my house has been very active since 3am. light bulbs (filament type) are blowing, lights are being switched on and off, objects are moving or disappearing and found elsewhere or returning later, and lots of scraping / dragging / bumping sounds...
[...]
Happens every year around this time, not usually this bad though. Doesn't really bother me, I'm used to it and just ignore it, but it does make you go WTF?! 

(and no, I'm not joking or 'the only one to see it'...)

Sounds like you've got some history to research.

I'm no expert, but has a family member left (or taken up residence) abruptly recently, or has someone challenged the alleged entity (pardon the use of "alleged," I have to maintain a degree of skepticism or my sense of 'the real' goes all wonky) in some way? According to what I've read/been told/seen through other means, the addition or removal of some artifact or house part or other can be a trigger. I haven't had a lot of experience with such things, though, so I may be "talking outside of class," as it were.

[Caledonian]

It seems that I have somehow pissed off my resident poltergeist, my house has been very active since 3am. light bulbs (filament type) are blowing, lights are being switched on and off, objects are moving or disappearing and found elsewhere or returning later, and lots of scraping / dragging / bumping sounds...

Went out for a hour this afternoon, arrived back to find all the cushions on my sofa had all been pushed up and into one corner. Not the cat, he was outside so can't be blamed.  And through the night it sounded like a large dog was trying to run / claws dragging on the bare floorboards in my upstairs hallway. Almost sounded like a wild animal being dragged, or having a fit or something! Again not the cat, the sound scared him and he jumped onto my bed while the sound continued. After a few minutes he ran off down the stairs to hide (he has not been back upstairs since).

Happens every year around this time, not usually this bad though. Doesn't really bother me, I'm used to it and just ignore it, but it does make you go WTF?! 

(and no, I'm not joking or 'the only one to see it'...)

Poltergeists like milk and unsalted bread. Leave some, remove iron objects from the doors and windows, make your apologies, that should work.
(This is from my dads book 'the magical creatures bible' it also gives handy tips on how to get in contact with your house spirits by meditation. The book is dead serious about it, I'm a bit less)

[Drew P]

Apparently, someone is looking for something.
Now, what did you move, throw out, change, when you moved in? That's a tricky question.

[Clym Angus]

It seems that I have somehow pissed off my resident poltergeist, my house has been very active since 3am. light bulbs (filament type) are blowing, lights are being switched on and off, objects are moving or disappearing and found elsewhere or returning later, and lots of scraping / dragging / bumping sounds...

Went out for a hour this afternoon, arrived back to find all the cushions on my sofa had all been pushed up and into one corner. Not the cat, he was outside so can't be blamed.  And through the night it sounded like a large dog was trying to run / claws dragging on the bare floorboards in my upstairs hallway. Almost sounded like a wild animal being dragged, or having a fit or something! Again not the cat, the sound scared him and he jumped onto my bed while the sound continued. After a few minutes he ran off down the stairs to hide (he has not been back upstairs since).

Happens every year around this time, not usually this bad though. Doesn't really bother me, I'm used to it and just ignore it, but it does make you go WTF?!  

(and no, I'm not joking or 'the only one to see it'...)

Poltergeists like milk and unsalted bread. Leave some, remove iron objects from the doors and windows, make your apologies, that should work.
(This is from my dads book 'the magical creatures bible' it also gives handy tips on how to get in contact with your house spirits by meditation. The book is dead serious about it, I'm a bit less)

Really? I thought mead was a good way of placating a houses wights? Polts can be unpredictable.

[MWBailey]

for some reason I read that as "poults." Spirit chickens? (sorry).

[Clym Angus]

KFC's would be the most haunted places in the world.

[Siliconous Skumins]

for some reason I read that as "poults." Spirit chickens? (sorry).

If you like the Toxic Avenger or Troma films in general, then you should enjoy this film. Well I like it!....


As to the paranormal inhabitants of this house - it's a long story.

Spoiler: ShowHide

There is something that inhabits the front bedroom. I say something as it can only be described as a dark shadow that creeps around the edges of the room. Everyone who has stayed over has seen it. I once watched it for 20 minutes, as it slowly crept along the walls, and as it passed through the door frame there was a flash of light like car headlights through a window - except there is a solid wall facing that door, and no possible source of light...
There are often strange light anomalies in the house, usually a bright flash of light that has no explanation. Sometimes room lights will turn on / off by themselves, and occasionally a voice is heard, but you can't quite make out what was said.

Only once have I seen what you could call an actual "Ghost" - it was a full bodied image of a woman wearing Edwardian style clothing. She had long dark hair, and an Edwardian style blouse with small printed / embroidered flowers on the front, and a typical long dark skirt. The whole image was faintly side lit in a strange monochromatic grey-blue light, and she was standing in my hallway with her arms folded on the banister of my stairs, and she was looking over the top and down the stairs in my direction.
I was walking UP the stairs and actually passed her (within inches!) without making eye contact or saying a word - mainly because I was a little bit freaked out and figured if neither one of us provokes the other, then all is fine. That and I didn't want to find out what would happen if I tried to strike up a conversation... 

I should clarify the last statement, I know somebody, a woman, died on those stairs in a fall. She was a relative of mine, a great-aunt.


As to the black shadow and poltergeist activity, this house has been rented out to many people over the past 35 years, including university students - and I can only assume somebody at some point played with a Ouija board or something. It may possibly have followed me here from my childhood home, as that place is riddled with activity!

I'm actually an open-minded skeptic and I do look for the obvious reasons first. Despite what I have seen, I'm still a skeptic, but acknowledge there is something here. I'm not scared of it in the slightest, it's more of an irritation than anything. 

[Drew P]

I would have tried my best to stay calm and attempted a convo with the stairs inhabitant. One nevers knows now do they?

[MWBailey]

Personally, I'd probably have tipped my hat or nodded or something - but also probably would have been hesitant to address the person directly, unless they were so completely corporeal that they appeared to be an intruder - in which case I'd probably find something to use for a weapon.

[Clym Angus]

In eastern mythos there is a school of thought that suggests that such creatures should be fought. In western societies "moving on" is the apparent order of the day. In nordic traditions the lingering should be left to linger but as the new owners of the hearth you are obligated to acknowledge and host your ancestors. For without them you would not be.

Scientifically, no energy is destroyed and spacetime (even on the gravitational kill point of black holes) can retain information regarding that which has crossed the event horizon on its way to join the singularity. So the idea of retained energy presenting itself as information spontaneously is not breaking any fundamental law of physics. So we are forced to keep an open mind. As I see it anyway.

[Caledonian]

Personally, I'd probably have tipped my hat or nodded or something - but also probably would have been hesitant to address the person directly, unless they were so completely corporeal that they appeared to be an intruder - in which case I'd probably find something to use for a weapon.

remind me not to visit you unexpectedly.

[Madasasteamfish]

Apparently, someone is looking for something.

O.K. I admit it. It was me, looking for my marbles!

[MWBailey]

Apparently, someone is looking for something.

O.K. I admit it. It was me, looking for my marbles!

And what sounded like dog claws on the wooden floor was actually you, rolling your marbles down the hallway, I take it?