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The Queer Geer Mk. II: A club for the LGBQT+ crowd and friends

Started by J. Wilhelm, July 31, 2016, 04:04:16 AM

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J. Wilhelm

Quote from: mizzarrogh on June 11, 2024, 11:19:45 AMWhen it come to my self, i honest don't care, they can call me male, female they/them, a steamboat whatever, it does not change anyting.  :)

Only official label i got seem to be "Hillbilly" which is probably true... Ha ha!

(The gender signature here is just for fun as i see it, I honestly don't hawe any particular prefered gender pronounce i would take offense if someone didn't use or any personal label i actualy care about, i mean one is still the same person regardless of all labels, as John Hurtkisson say, "the truth is that i hawe always been this way") Ha ha! :-)



For many trans people living with strong dysphoria, being misgendered as the opposite of what they want to be or how they feel, or being "dead-named" (using their former birth name) is a big insult.

For me it's the opposite. I like being misgendered!

You see, I go by he/him simply because I feel closer to a male than a female, and I was never bothered by the fact I was born as a boy. Hence I don't mind if people see me as a boy. I think that makes a big difference if you're in between genders and you're not trying to be in one extreme of the spectrum or"pass" as the opposite of your birth sex. But you have to be comfortable with your body.  Since that's not an issue with me, if by chance people misgender me as female, it's because to them, at the moment (remember I'm dressing masculine, and no makeup) I look feminine, which is something I take as a compliment, and is congruent with my "middle of the road" identity.

So I'm a straight feminine looking boy! Itdoesn't bother me.

Coincidentally, I think this simple description, in the language of popular media or comic books since the 1990s, qualifies as a one of several definitions for the term "Femboy" (Literally, "feminine boy" without lacking reference to gender or sexual attraction),  and which many trangender people can sometimes take as an offensive term, depending on the context - because it's a term which precedes the Gender Revolution, it applies to a certain stereotypical behavior and appearance of literary characters in 21st C. popular culture (Anime/ Manga, etc.) and never was a valid gender theory term, but rather a 3-decades old popular culture term of the Internet age.  As described in the video above, "Femboy" is more an activity in society, like Cosplay, a "what you do," rather than "what you are."

And you know what? Yes, yes I am. I'm a straight, non-binary, gender-fluid Steampunk Femboy!!  ;D Deal with it  ;)

rovingjack

Quote from: J. Wilhelm on June 11, 2024, 10:59:38 AM.
You are now touching on metaphysical topics.  I just want to say a couple of things before I hand over the microphone to another person (video below), as this is possibly above my pay grade.

1. I won't mention gender in grammar assigned to inanimate objects, such as in Spanish, French or Italian, other than that, what you described, is exactly what language does!

2. Scientists and philosophers agree that gender is a social construct. It varies from culture to culture, and the way I understand it is a set of expectations placed on a child from the time they're born.

3. Many people don't feel any affinity towards gender. In the contemporary nomenclature, these people are called "agender," and it's recognized to be a legitimate classification.

4. Re-reading your original post, I realize that saying you're asexual and yet sexually active makes much less sense than saying that you're an agender person with a sexual orientation (remember, sexual orientation and gender aren't tied to one another). I wonder if they meant to say they were agender instead of asexual.  Two very different things.


1 Yes I am aware of gendered language for inanimate objects. but unless I grossly misunderstand, Germans do not think forks are female and spoons are male. they are grammatical customs. nobody is out here suggesting that a French spoon is trans when in germany. so I think the point still stands, that Germans likely don't think spoons are male, and don't suddenly think it must be a French spoon if it is pink with bows on it and thus female.

4 no, I'm pretty sure the implication in that one was that they felt no sexual attraction toward anyone, but still crave and enjoy sexual stimulation. I imagine, if I can be blunt here, that nobody is attracted to their own hand, but sure does seem like they can they can get relief from pent up need by using them. 'release' doesn't require attraction (whether it's homo- hetero- bi- pan- or omni-) and I guess those types refer to themselves as asexual based on lack of attraction, not on sexual engagement.

Still think it's kind of a different beast. but it does start to be a matter of opinion of where division lines are. and Identity, presentation, socialization, attraction, and sexual engagement (not to mention gender and physical sex are not binary either) are all capable of differing.
When an explosion explodes hard enough, the dust wakes up and thinks about itself.

J. Wilhelm

Quote from: rovingjack on June 18, 2024, 08:21:13 AM
Quote from: J. Wilhelm on June 11, 2024, 10:59:38 AM.
You are now touching on metaphysical topics.  I just want to say a couple of things before I hand over the microphone to another person (video below), as this is possibly above my pay grade.

1. I won't mention gender in grammar assigned to inanimate objects, such as in Spanish, French or Italian, other than that, what you described, is exactly what language does!

2. Scientists and philosophers agree that gender is a social construct. It varies from culture to culture, and the way I understand it is a set of expectations placed on a child from the time they're born.

3. Many people don't feel any affinity towards gender. In the contemporary nomenclature, these people are called "agender," and it's recognized to be a legitimate classification.

4. Re-reading your original post, I realize that saying you're asexual and yet sexually active makes much less sense than saying that you're an agender person with a sexual orientation (remember, sexual orientation and gender aren't tied to one another). I wonder if they meant to say they were agender instead of asexual.  Two very different things.


1 Yes I am aware of gendered language for inanimate objects. but unless I grossly misunderstand, Germans do not think forks are female and spoons are male. they are grammatical customs. nobody is out here suggesting that a French spoon is trans when in germany. so I think the point still stands, that Germans likely don't think spoons are male, and don't suddenly think it must be a French spoon if it is pink with bows on it and thus female.

4 no, I'm pretty sure the implication in that one was that they felt no sexual attraction toward anyone, but still crave and enjoy sexual stimulation. I imagine, if I can be blunt here, that nobody is attracted to their own hand, but sure does seem like they can they can get relief from pent up need by using them. 'release' doesn't require attraction (whether it's homo- hetero- bi- pan- or omni-) and I guess those types refer to themselves as asexual based on lack of attraction, not on sexual engagement.

Still think it's kind of a different beast. but it does start to be a matter of opinion of where division lines are. and Identity, presentation, socialization, attraction, and sexual engagement (not to mention gender and physical sex are not binary either) are all capable of differing.

1. It was a joke. What's a French spoon?
*I forgot the winky emoji

4. I think the confusion reveals the weakness of the terminology itself.  Using the term "asexual," like you say, almost always refers to sexual orientation (sexual attraction to someone  with a certain appearance in the biological sense).  But the confusing part is that technically there can be people who don't enjoy sexual activity at all.  This can happen due to a variety of physiological reasons (eg nerve damage), and psychological reasons (eg rape), but a term to denote sexual capability is absent from almost any conversation online on gender or sexuality, as far as I can see.  Maybe someone out there knows more...


Also the number of categories varies a lot depending on your source of information.

mizzarrogh

I am not realy trans my self, im more like Wera Wylde "girl" so i can't spek for all, I absolutely agree with You! Ha ha! I had a similar feeling of not realy fit in into either side or what was an expected man or female social role and behavior that well i think, after highscool i think i leaning more toward the feminine side but it's probably because one grew up and rised more self esteem, i always lived as a guy and worked with quite manly things, my friends did not say anything about my feminine behavior, but i guess my brother allredy know that i like dressdes and things like that... Ha ha!

However, whan i tried to say is that i think being accepted in a comunity and being supported is imporant to many, i guess we who are a bit older are kind of used to that one had to walk alone and trying as baest as onje ccould to find information about why i was different, there was no LGBTQ comunity close to where i lived, and i think it was so for most young people at the time, as best there was a gayclub, but i was not hgay either and most gay men where after all exactly that; men obviously, so at the time the comunity did not feel like the right place to go as today. (I hope i was not offensive whan i posted here, i can't always see how other people are going to read my posts even if it is obvious whan i go back, i don't hawe dyslexia or anything like that, but i guess it is caused by something similar that makes me blind to the core of what other people are going to see when i try to make posts sometime no matter how many times i try to check my messages for errors, it just keep repeating... So, with that said, i realy not ment to be aggressive towward people without any reason, it is just the way it is for me. It is ok to tell me about it if i do.:)  )

J. Wilhelm

Quote from: mizzarrogh on June 24, 2024, 03:14:36 PMI am not realy trans my self, im more like Wera Wylde "girl" ...

SNIP

However, whan i tried to say is that i think being accepted in a comunity and being supported is imporant to many, i guess we who are a bit older are kind of used to that one had to walk alone and trying as baest as onje ccould to find information about why i was different, there was no LGBTQ comunity...

SNIP

People in our generations (Gen X and Gen Y) are going to have a much harder time classifying themselves because we never had the language to describe what we were feeling.

In my case, living in Mexico, there was no cultural context for it (you could argue that the United States had San Francisco, and such), but generally speaking in a Catholic 80s society there was no understanding of anything beyond "straight and gay." Thus, for many people discovery came really late in life. There simply was no room for someone like me.

Admitting what I liked was "pidgeonholed" or categorized as being "gay" by default. And back in the early 80s, being gay was synonymous with AIDS.  :-\  In Catholic countries, we tolerated artists like Boy George, because in our minds that was "foreign entertainment, from another country, far away..." though in Europe, New Wave and such styles meant that there was a lot of default gender bending in their countries of origin, right in front of the crowds.

Decidedly, fashion and music played a role in displaying the gender spectrum, though there were no words to describe it. The question is, how much impact music and fashion had in those who knew they were "different," as they were growing up. Was this just fashion? Or was this the first role of media in outing gender expression? Just take a look at this early video from the Spanish group "Mecano," a synth-New Wave teenage idol group that was mostly favored by girls in Mexican private High schools (Mexican boys were busy listening to their older brother's "more manly" metal music like AC/DC, and more American styled classic rock groups like Meat Loaf).  ;D

For the record t Mecano was a band of two brothers and a female lead singer. None of them are gay in any capacity in their personal lives. As the group became more famous, the brothers dropped the androgynous look altogether.


It's hard to say how many kids who would later identify as gay would follow the "girl's' bands," and much less how many of those who would not feel comfortable with the idea of being thought of as "gay," only dug themselves further into the closet, because they weren't gay at all, but something totally unidentifiable by words to themselves and others. How many people went decades without knowing understanding why?

But my feeling is that the music and fashion associated with New Wave did have an impact among "future queer" people down the line. And this wasn't new at all. Remember David Bowie in the 70s (and later 80s)? And what about "Prince"? Sometimes it was very subtle; there were female groups where the lead singers were classified as "too butch to be straight," without the people knowing anything about their personal life. But I have to note that public knowledge about gender was practically non-existent even among the MTV crowd in the 80s. In Mexico, "The Gogo's," headed by Belinda Carlisle were even accused of being "Lesbian!" This was cutting edge gender play back then!


And never mind the aforementioned Boy George! This was really shocking back then! Probably he was the most "clearly gay" of the whole bunch of artists (because he is gay).

Boy George's videos played every day on the newfangled MTV which was exported worldwide (it was the easiest program to export: all the videos were untranslated and all you needed was an office with two young people who spoke the language of the target country. In Mexico's broadcast systems you had a young Mexican couple introducing each of the videos and detailing the entertainment news to the public every weekday around the time when school classes ended in the afternoon! This is what kids saw coming out of highschool:


Xenos

Pops head in Hello there...

I'm back on the boards, might as well be here now too!

As I stated in my re-re-re...introduction (I forget now how many times I've disappeared for long absences, but that's hardly out of the ordinary with me now then is it?), during this past Walkabout, I came out as trans to my friends, and most places online where I feel safe to do so. Naturally, upon coming back here this go, seemed the proper thing to do here was let everyone know that's the case.

As to the discussion of how I identify, got that pegged down pretty good: I'm a femme leaning pansexual transwoman. I do have a rather lovely boyfriend though (one of the very few masc folk to catch my eye).

Known that since I've known what the difference between boys and girls were. Had my name picked since I was 12 (though online everywhere but here I go by Diana ;D ).

I do feel like Gen X and Y will have a harder time labeling/classifying themselves though. I've got one mate, for instance, who's really trying to figure out who they are, and are struggling bad with it (right now they're settling on Demigirl, I'm really happy for them!), trying to help 'em in any way I can, as I said to 'em the other day "Girliepop, I **KNOW** that vibe, I been there."
No, no, girliepop, I GIVE advice, I don't TAKE it, not even my own.

The World's a Stage. The CAST is garbage.