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The Incredible Cake - pics on page 3

Started by Sir Nikolas of Vendigroth, February 05, 2009, 10:35:30 PM

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Sir Nikolas of Vendigroth

February 05, 2009, 10:35:30 PM Last Edit: February 06, 2009, 06:13:02 PM by Sir Nikolas Vendigroth
I'll make this clear to start with - I'm a student. That may explain some of the things I'm about to tell you.

Right....

My freind Matt's19th birthday was yesterday. Predictably, we went out, being students.

His girlfreind, who is Vietnamese, made him a cake...

Now, then. He kindly invited me to his flat earlier for dinner. Being students, we ate prawn crackers and noodles. 'Cos we can't spare the beer money. After we'd eaten the (admittedly good) noodles and praw crackers, we went to his room for dessert. His birthday cake, which his girlfreind had made.

It appens that she'd been researching the Tiramisu (The queen of cakes) on the interweb. It seems she'd tried to make one. From eggs, crackers, chocolate and chicken. The cake was actually made from those ingredients, and those ingredients alone. Egg. Chocolate. Crackers. Pieces of chicken.

To top the whole thing off, she'd doused it in coffee. By the time I and my freind Hayley got to it, the "cake" was a day old, and had dried out a bit.

To top the whole thing off, she'd made an omelette and cut the phrase "HAPPY BIRTHDAY MATT" out of it, and placed it on top.

Please don't misunderstand this thread - She's a lovely, sweet, kind, intelligent girl. She's scored 10/10 for effort and dedication. But that cake was an abomination to confectionary.

Angel

#1
February 05, 2009, 10:38:06 PM
The cake is a lie.
"With a rifle, you can kill one man; but with a machine gun, you can make a whole army keep its head down." - Jeremy Clarkson

Quote from: Sir Nikolas of Vendigroth on April 13, 2008, 09:04:17 PM
Buns are obviously not designed for their aerodynamic properties.

Herr Döktor

#2
February 05, 2009, 10:40:39 PM
The first rule of cake club is...

Sir Nikolas of Vendigroth

#3
February 05, 2009, 10:40:59 PM
Quote from: Angel on February 05, 2009, 10:38:06 PM
The cake is a lie.

This one wasn't. The lead weight in my stomach attests to that.

The thing is: I wasn't joking. This is one hundred percent real.

JingleJoe

#4
February 05, 2009, 10:43:38 PM
She didn't use a recipe book, she used the necronomicon.
Green Dungeon Alchemist Laboratories
Providing weird sound contraptions and time machines since 2064.

Angel

#5
February 05, 2009, 10:44:34 PM
Quote from: JingleJoe on February 05, 2009, 10:43:38 PM
She didn't use a recipe book, she used the necronomicon.

Caketu barada nikto!
"With a rifle, you can kill one man; but with a machine gun, you can make a whole army keep its head down." - Jeremy Clarkson

Quote from: Sir Nikolas of Vendigroth on April 13, 2008, 09:04:17 PM
Buns are obviously not designed for their aerodynamic properties.

The Kernel

#6
February 05, 2009, 10:46:02 PM
I have been present for many culinary disasters caused by mis-understanding recipies, but never quite that impressive :o

Alexander Edmund Clough

#7
February 05, 2009, 10:54:11 PM
*blinks in a sort of shocked manner*

Egg.
Chocolate.
Crackers.
Pieces of chicken.
Omlette on top...

Oh god.

So God Save the Queen, 'Cause anything is possible for a man in a top hat with a monkey with a monocle!


The_Steam_Master

#8
February 05, 2009, 10:59:22 PM
Quote from: Angel on February 05, 2009, 10:44:34 PM
Quote from: JingleJoe on February 05, 2009, 10:43:38 PM
She didn't use a recipe book, she used the necronomicon.

Caketu barada nikto!

you mean Caketu Barada N-*coughcoughcough*

Prof Eumides Blakehurst

#9
February 05, 2009, 11:32:07 PM
OK, it has to be said:

This thread is useless without pics!
There is no god and Dawkins is his prophet.

Atterton

#10
February 05, 2009, 11:35:45 PM
Why did she think chicken needed to be added?
Resurrectionist and freelance surgeon.

Dusza Beben

#11
February 05, 2009, 11:41:18 PM
Talk about lost in translation!
She needs to be introduced to the food network. POSTHASTE!

The truely stunning part is that you ate it.

DB

Brought to you by, Muahahahah INC, we add the "muaha" to your "hahah"

Gazongola

#12
February 06, 2009, 02:10:30 AM
Shoggoth in a cake. Well, the Mad Arab sure had his wierd ways.

Elycium

#13
February 06, 2009, 02:22:07 AM
I'm still trying to figure out why chicken was involved. 

...how did it taste?
"Humans need fantasy to be human."  - Death from "The Hogfather"

Dusza Beben

#14
February 06, 2009, 02:45:18 AM
Quote from: Elycium on February 06, 2009, 02:22:07 AM
I'm still trying to figure out why chicken was involved. 

I've known a few Vietnamese, trying to figure out some of their culinary choices can only lead to maddness.

DB

Brought to you by, Muahahahah INC, we add the "muaha" to your "hahah"

alfa1

#15
February 06, 2009, 02:53:21 AM

Flynn MacCallister

#16
February 06, 2009, 02:57:55 AM
Quote from: Dusza Beben on February 06, 2009, 02:45:18 AM
Quote from: Elycium on February 06, 2009, 02:22:07 AM
I'm still trying to figure out why chicken was involved. 

I've known a few Vietnamese, trying to figure out some of their culinary choices can only lead to maddness.

DB



I'm trying to figure out what went wrong! The best bakers all seem to be Vietnamese... so you get a Vietnamese girl, and let her try to make a cake... what happened? >_o

Dusza Beben

#17
February 06, 2009, 03:00:35 AM
Quote from: Flynn MacCallister on February 06, 2009, 02:57:55 AM
Quote from: Dusza Beben on February 06, 2009, 02:45:18 AM
Quote from: Elycium on February 06, 2009, 02:22:07 AM
I'm still trying to figure out why chicken was involved. 

I've known a few Vietnamese, trying to figure out some of their culinary choices can only lead to maddness.

DB



I'm trying to figure out what went wrong! The best bakers all seem to be Vietnamese... so you get a Vietnamese girl, and let her try to make a cake... what happened? >_o

The phrase "What could possibly go wrong?" comes to mind...

DB

Brought to you by, Muahahahah INC, we add the "muaha" to your "hahah"

Flynn MacCallister

#18
February 06, 2009, 03:01:46 AM
XD

maduncle

#19
February 06, 2009, 03:59:54 AM
I am also stuck on the 'chicken' part of the story.

What is in a Tiramisu recipe that leads to chicken?

- 500g mascarpone cheese
- 2 tbs caster sugar
- 400mls freshly brewed strong coffee, cooled
- 2 tbs Tia Maria or Kahlua (optional)
- 1 x 250g pkt savoiardi biscuits
- 80g good-quality dark chocolate, grated

I think we now need a steampunk version - called the 'tea-rimisu' so we can use tea instead of coffee

(Probably goes much better with chicken)
"Lockstock stonedead shock of a Dog Fenn frown"

helios

#20
February 06, 2009, 04:09:18 AM
Quote from: Angel on February 05, 2009, 10:44:34 PM
Quote from: JingleJoe on February 05, 2009, 10:43:38 PM
She didn't use a recipe book, she used the necronomicon.

Caketu barada nikto!
Shutupshutupshutup! You'll summon Cakethulu.
In smoggiest day, in sooted night
no ignorance shall escape my sight.
Let those who worship ignorance's might,
beware my power... Brass Goggles light!

The_Steam_Master

#21
February 06, 2009, 04:15:07 AM


too late...

Vancouver Air Privateer

#22
February 06, 2009, 05:35:31 AM
Ahhhh! Run before he gets the chicken!
"Blessed be Science and her handmaiden Steam;
They make Utopia only half a dream."

"So he pulls an alternating-current taser on me and tells me that only the Official Serbian Church of Tesla can save my polyphase intrinsic electric field, known to non-engineers as 'the soul.' "

helios

#23
February 06, 2009, 06:21:13 AM
It was only a matter of time. ARM YOURSELVES! HE AIN"T GETTING THE CAKE WITHOUT A FIGHT!!
In smoggiest day, in sooted night
no ignorance shall escape my sight.
Let those who worship ignorance's might,
beware my power... Brass Goggles light!

Vancouver Air Privateer

#24
February 06, 2009, 06:23:09 AM
Now I will always be wary about eating cakes, less Cakethulu has cursed it with chicken.  :(

Truly a fate worse than death. Anyone have a large fishing boat, by chance?  :D
"Blessed be Science and her handmaiden Steam;
They make Utopia only half a dream."

"So he pulls an alternating-current taser on me and tells me that only the Official Serbian Church of Tesla can save my polyphase intrinsic electric field, known to non-engineers as 'the soul.' "
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