The Steampunk Mercenary Guild

[Sebastian Greyfield]

A home for all those sell-swordsticks, top-hats for hire and all other goggles and guns that go off and give a good what-for to gents and gentleladies for an agreeable goldage.

Or to put it plainly, the Steampunk Mercenary Guild.

[William Ichabod Dachary]

I'd like to apply for a position. My name is Cosram K. Ryan (can't change my name on the forum), freelance mercenary since leaving the clergy under certain circumstances. It's about time we had a proper guild.

[Sebastian Greyfield]

Welcome aboard, please refrain from getting blood on the carpets, i only just washed off the last spill

[William Ichabod Dachary]

Not to appear to be anything of a nancy, but I know a thing or too about getting blood stains out of a fine shag-pile.

[Sebastian Greyfield]

Oh? Do tell

[William Ichabod Dachary]

The trick is, you see...


Dye the whole thing red.

[Sebastian Greyfield]

!!

Genius!

[helios]

Thing is, that doesn't always work. In fact, in my experience, it never does. You need to stain the entire rug with blood.

[William Ichabod Dachary]

Thing is, that doesn't always work. In fact, in my experience, it never does. You need to stain the entire rug with blood.

(Un)Fortunately, that is not too difficult an endeavour, in one's line of work.

[helios]

You would think so, wouldn't you...

[The Sammy]

I find that I am rarely at a loss for red "dye"... the problem comes when trying to get it out of a fine mechanism such as in a sprung knife or two... I can never get in between the little cogs and springs...

[Sebastian Greyfield]

I wonder if any of you fine gentleman would wish to donate some 'home made red dye' to my carpet cause . . .

[The Sammy]

I could sell you some... it would be a donation but by the looks of it monkey feet are not going to be legal tender, and that leaves me rather short on cash...

[Sebastian Greyfield]

Theyre not? Tarnation :-/


What about steamfish scales?

[The Sammy]

They would be an entierly different kettle of steamfish! Though that would be down to Mr. Greyfield to decide...

[Sebastian Greyfield]

We could always take over the world and MAKE monkey feet into the only acceptable currency

[The Sammy]

Ah, but as mercenaries we would have to find someone to hire us to take it over... Otherwise where would our ethics be?

[Sebastian Greyfield]

I see your point, though in regards to ethics I would refer to one of my favourite mottos:-

Philosophies can always be bent in favour of whoever is sporting the largest amount of firepower

[The Sammy]

True... I guess that would be this honourable guild! Though the guild of weaponsmiths or guild of demolitions might rival us... Still, firepower and expertise could easily bend eithics then!

[Sebastian Greyfield]

You can have all the guns and demolitions in the world but WE are the people that will use it

[The Sammy]

A very good point... Now all we need is a steam-powered flying fortress and we shall rule everything!!

[Lessian]

I will count myself as one of this guild.
I have no alliances to any specific group other than whoever I am working for at any given time, so clients need not be concerned about conflict of interest.
I specialise in jobs that require a degree of discretion and stealth:  explosions and noise are not my style.
If you require my services, please leave me a message and I will consider the task.

[Sebastian Greyfield]

Welcome Lessian, I believe that you shall find some like-minded individuals within these ranks, and some who have alternative approaches but will be handy on a mission.

[Little_Red]

Evening, Ladies and Gents.

Coral "Little Red" Morgan, at your service.  Navigator First Class, Her Majesty's Airship Corps, recently dishonorably discharged for a big misunderstanding involving the captain and a black market kidney.  Requesting permission to join the guild - I find my days just drag without a good fight to give myself purpose.

[Sebastian Greyfield]

I do believe that we can provide something of the sort.

I would like to mention however that I know where both of my kidneys are and WILL be using them.