Fancy word game

[Caledonian]

So I came up with this idea for a little language game. as far as I've seen you all are really good at this so it'll be easy!
the goal of the game is to "translate" a sentence to an as fancy, classy or complicated way as possible.

you respond to the poster above you.
you translate their sentence and then post a casual sentence yourself. (please keep this nice and family friendly...I'm fine with suggestive lines, as far as they don't violate the forum rules. I don't think I have to explain, do I?)

so here is my sentence for the next poster to translate:
"no, I'm not coming to your birthday party."

[Maets]

I shan't be able to attend the superfluous celebration of your aging.

I am going to the store for some bananas.

[Will Howard]

I shall proceed to attempt to purchase the fruit favored by simians.

Your auto is burning oil & emitting a lot of smoke.

[Maets]

Good sir, my Stanley is being soiled by that petro spewing smoker you call a car.

[Caledonian]

Since no sentence is provided here is a random one from a book that's laying close by:

"Tell her to not sell the grog"

[walking stick]

Inform the lady it is not permitted for her to exchange the adulterated rum liquor for lucre.

Why aren't you asleep?

[Will Howard]

Please explain why you have not entered a resting state.

The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.

[Maets]

A spry Vulpes Vulpes leaped over Canis lupus familiaris as it lay idly by.

I am sorry for forgetting to post a sentence last time. (Yep use that)

[Colonel Hawthorne]

I wish to express my regret for the lapse of memory which resulted in the omission of a suitable phrase from my previous communication.

I do like to be beside the seaside.

[Clym Angus]

It is pleasing to find my self residing within a littoral vista.

Can you please stop wanking off to dog porn in my presence?

Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?

[Caledonian]

I asked for family friendly lines...not pawing off to yiffing dogs...
Anyway:
Can I request you to stop pleasuring yourself while looking at canine beasts having intercourse?

Are you carrying firearms or is it sheer joy upon seeing me?
How are you doing today?

[Clym Angus]

I asked for family friendly lines...not pawing off to yiffing dogs...
Anyway:
Can I request you to stop pleasuring yourself while looking at canine beasts having intercourse?

Are you carrying firearms or is it sheer joy upon seeing me?
How are you doing today?

(I fixed it! Eventually. Then in order for it all to make sense I put it back in; but striked it through. Although you now have a clear incite into the mind your dealing with; in a word; Filth. But as I can't get away with run of the mill, ho-hum, common or garden filth. I'm now forced to get creative........ RIGHT! On with the game!)

I would like to press the enquiry regarding the nature of your health; positive or negative, during this fine period of illumination by the sun.

Ging gang goolie goolie goolie watch yer, Ging gang goo ging gang goo.

[Hurricane Annie]

Ging gang goolie goolie goolie watch yer, Ging gang goo ging gang goo

I was traumatised by a group of wayward scouts  who had escaped a jamboree

It has  me completely tied in knots !

[Clym Angus]

Ging gang goolie goolie goolie watch yer, Ging gang goo ging gang goo

I was traumatised by a group of wayward scouts  who had escaped a jamboree

It has me completely tied in knots !

I find myself rendered immobile due to the handy work of a hull full of seamen.

Wiggle it just a little bit.

[walking stick]

I suggest you allow it to perform a modest amount of vermiform movement.

[walking stick]

Sorry managed to post that without next line which is:-

It's too darn hot.

[Clym Angus]

I am finding the aridity, of this fundamentally inclement weather to be wearing on both the mind and body.

Wot you lookin at? Come on then, dipstick!!!

[Will Howard]

May I ask what you are observing?  Please approach, instrument for measuring oil levels.

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Don't pet the dog, don't pet him whatever you do.

[Maets]

Cease and desist your attempt to touch that creature of the canine species, no matter what.

[Will Howard]

Cease and desist your attempt to touch that creature of the canine species, no matter what.

And the next line is?  

Wherefore follows your latest submission, Maets?

[Maets]

I seem to have a problem remembering to give another line.

Try this on for size.

My airship has developed a leak of hydrogen.

[Colonel Hawthorne]

The most fundamental of elements is proceeding outwards from my (formerly) flying transport device.

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Many hands make light work.

[Caledonian]

the multi-fingered extremities of many will make complicated tasks manageable

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I'm sorry I'm late

[walking stick]

My deepest apologies for the tardiness of my arrival.

So what's new?

[Hurricane Annie]

 What is the latest  popular culture trend on the social net working  internet sites?

Steampunk - has it got too mainstream ?